A whole lot has been going on in our lives since September, & I realized I never shared our big news with my photography friends!
Let me preface this post by sharing that my brother, Seth, went into the hospital on Labor Day, was transferred to two different hospitals, ended up in Fairfax, VA by September 20th, & stayed there until he passed away on October 19th. I was able to spend almost that entire time with him in the hospital & I am SO so grateful for that!
So now we can backtrack!! Sebastian & I had been praying for a baby since January of 2017. Month after month, we were discouraged by negative pregnancy tests, but deep down, we knew God’s timing was perfect & trusted Him to provide when He knew we were ready.
The day before Seth was moved to INOVA (Fairfax, VA), I was on the phone with my dad talking about the plan for the rest of us. During that conversation, my dad randomly said, “Maybe God hasn’t given y’all a baby because He knew Seth would need you right now.” I will never forget him saying that, & when I think of God’s provision & perfect timing, there isn’t a clearer picture of that than the sentence my dad said to me.
I was able to walk away from my entire life here at home to be in Fairfax with my family, but the one thing I wouldn’t have been able to walk away from would have been a baby. I spent more than a year & a half wondering why the Lord wouldn’t give Sebastian & I a child, & had he answered my prayer for a baby when I was ready, I wouldn’t have been able to spend the last month & a half of my brother’s life with him.
God’s timing is perfect, even when we don’t understand.
And guess what? When I left for Fairfax, I was pregnant! The Lord had given us a baby & I didn’t even know.
Over the next week, I was so tired, nauseous, & sick, but I figured it was all due to the stress of what we were going through. I would wake up & tell my sister (in-law technically, Seth’s wife, but she’s always just been my sister!) that I was anxious & didn’t have an appetite, & I’d force myself to eat every meal. Pregnancy never crossed my mind!
On Thursday, September 26th, I actually ended up in the emergency room at INOVA! When you’re going through such an intense & traumatic time as we were, your body does crazy things. In the ER, they told me I was fine, didn’t do a pregnancy test, & said to just take it easy. I took a picture of mine & Seth’s matching hospital bands, planning to tell him the irony one day. It’ll have to wait until Heaven. <3
That night, I felt more sick than I had before, I finally thought, “What if this is a pregnancy symptom?” I didn’t tell anyone, I just went to bed & woke up feeling just as sick.
When we got to the hospital the next morning, I got my mom up to Seth’s room then went downstairs to grab a pregnancy test from the pharmacy. I wasn’t expecting anything & had grown accustom to negative results, so I just headed to the bathroom & took the test like normal!
Y’all – TWO LINES!!! But just barely! I looked at the test & saw the FAINTEST second line. I thought I must have done it wrong, so I took the other test right away.
TWO LINES AGAIN!! This time, the second line was still faint, but more pronounced. I was in total shock & almost positive that I had bought a defective test kit, or had somehow just ended up getting two false negatives.
I went back up to Seth’s room & walked over to where my mom was. I don’t know if it was my pale face or my shaking hands, but she gathered something was going on, haha! I reached in my purse & handed her the two tests.
Immediately, she said, “You’re pregnant! Are you pregnant!? You’re pregnant!!!” Stacey, who was next to Seth holding his hand at the time, jumped up & ran over – “WHAT!? You’re pregnant!??!? HANNAH!!!”
I was crying, mom was crying, Stacey was crying, Seth’s nurse was crying. She said, “Wait, is she really pregnant!? This has never happened to me before!!” haha! Although Seth was sedated, he must have heard the commotion because his blood pressure shot up! We were kicked out of the ICU & told that we weren’t allowed to be that loud. 🙂
I wish I would have thought to get pictures with mom & Stacey, but my mind was SO far from that!
I still didn’t think the test was accurate, so my mom & I left & went to Patient First for a blood test. I’ll never forget when the doctor came in the room:
Doctor: “What’s going on?”
Me: “Well, my husband & I have been trying to get pregnant for more than a year, & I’m late, but my brother is on life support right now & I think I’m just late due to the stress. But I took an at-home pregnancy test & got two lines, but the second line was so faint, I don’t know if it’s accurate.”
Doctor: “Well, there was nothing faint about this test – you’re pregnant!”
WHAT!??! I cried. Mom cried. Mom took a picture of me & the random Patient First doctor in Fairfax, VA that I’ll never see again, haha! Then we headed back to the hospital.
Next, I had to figure out how I was going to tell Sebastian! He was already planning to go up to Fairfax that night to spend the weekend with me, so it was perfect timing!
Stacey & I went to the hospital gift shop & got a cute little announcement ornament & a card. I put the Patient First test results in the card & highlighted where it said “Pregnancy Result: Positive”, & waited (& waited & waited) for him to get there!
Of course, he wasn’t in nearly the hurry that I needed him to be in, haha! He took his time leaving home, stopped a couple of times for different things on his way up, & ended up arriving after 1:00am. BAH!
When he got to the house, he barely got in the door before I was handing him a present. Mom & Stacey were sleeping in the den that night, so Stacey hopped up & grabbed my phone & recorded Sebastian’s reaction to finding out he was going to be a daddy!
He was in total shock! I think he was in shock for a few weeks, actually, haha! It didn’t seem real, especially the timing of it all. Again, I don’t have any pictures from that night! But I have that video that I’ll treasure forever.
Instead of staying in Fairfax, we went to see Seth in the morning (it was his birthday!) & then headed home together to tell the rest of our family. It was the best news & the best day.
We can’t WAIT to meet our sweet babe in May, & we are so so grateful to the Lord for blessing us with this gift!! I’m now 22 weeks pregnant, & it STILL doesn’t feel real. Grateful, thankful, blessed.
Since this is a novel already, I’m going to stop here & make a new post another day on how we told our family! 🙂